Three offerings from my first week in Paris, the second time (but posted 4 months later):

August 28, 2007

One:
Well, I have been feeling pretty alienated here in this foreign country, so, to comfort myself, I stand in front of the mirror (incompletely)—staring deeply into my eyes—and repeat the following until I start crying and forget who you are:

I would be careful if I was you.
I am careful having been you.
I was careful when I was you.
I had been careful being you.
I will be careful when I am you.
I would have been careful when I had been you.
I was being careful when I was you.
I will be careful having been you.
I am careful when I am you.
I have been careful being you.
I was being careful after having been you.
I had been careful having been you.
I will have been careful being you.
I was careful when I had been you.
I would have been careful having been you.

Honestly, I normally pass out and wake up confused about whether it’s dawn or dusk. Luckily, I have bright fluorescent lights and I’m too afraid to leave my room so it doesn’t really matter. When I do get a sense of empowerment I tend to just make a cup of coffee and go to sleep.

Two:
If you do not travel to at least one other country and submit yourself to seriously learning another language, then you will live in an itsy-bitsy-tiny-wheeny world. One’s limits are always absolute in the play of language, yet with only one language (the native tongue) an individual’s limits are not only more restrictive, but worse—transparent. This animal lives in a very dark world. While he can smash his symbols together to make art, he only has a few crayons and a very small coloring book.

Three:
What is offensive? I believe it is that which one names when he or she feels incapable. In response one becomes defensive: “I am capable, you mother fucker!” The issue is therefore: is defense real power? Does defense manifest real capability to perform that action which has been challenged? Or, is it the simple statement of incapability?

Huh, bitch? That’s what I thought! My kids are gonna eat razor blades for breakfast!